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Am I a Survivor of a Vanished Twin?

Questions to Discover if You May be a Vanishing twin Survivor

Vanishing Twin is a word that’s been used since 2003 to describe the fetus or embryo that was a twin, triplet or other multiple but died early in the pregnancy, leaving no detectable trace at birth or before. The remaining child born is called a Vanishing Twin survivor. This is also known as the vanishing twin phenomenon. There are millions Vanishing Twin survivors in the world today that share some common characteristics.
Instructions
Step1
See if you feel different from other people. Maybe you have a strange sensation that somehow you don’t really exist, you’re not really here or shouldn’t be here.
Step2
Look back to see if you have suffered from depression most of your life, you’ve had long-term problems with food and eating and perhaps you’ve always feared abandonment and rejection. These are common, similar feelings of Vanishing Twin survivors.

Step3
Understand that feelings of wanting to commit suicide more than once in your life, afraid of being alone in the dark and feeling paranoid are also common feelings.

Step 4
Identify symptoms such as searching for something all your life but not knowing what it is and feeling intense involvement at the start of a relationship then sabotaging it, whether intentionally or not.

Step 5
Examine whether you’re a female with a strong male side, or a male with a strong female side. Sometimes these are other indicators of being a Vanishing Twin survivor.

Step 6
Acknowledge whether or not you frequently feel unable to cope with life, if you grieve deeply and for a very long time when someone close to you or a beloved pet has died.

Step 7
Realize that if you feel very vulnerable and fragile, you’re easily bored and if you find yourself thinking a lot about death and dying that these are other common symptoms that you may be a Vanishing Twin survivor. Seek help in sorting out your feelings to rule out other more serious problems.

Step 8
Recognize symptoms other Vanishing Twin survivors feel such as feeling as if you’ve been pretending to be someone else, not your authentic self or feeling alone even when with you’re with friends. These are other indicators that perhaps you’re a Vanishing Twin survivor.

so far.

  1. Aisha says:

    Hello! This post couldn’t be written any better!

    Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate!
    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this
    post to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  2. Pam says:

    This is incredible to me. I am 54 years old and at 41, I was told that my mom experienced the “Vanishing Twin” syndrome when she was pregnant with me. I was told because I have 2 sets of twin grandchildren. I have always had an overwhelming since of abandonment and rejection. I could not explain it. I have always felt a deep sense of empathy and sympathy for others and would feel an overwhelming sense of guilt when it literally had nothing to do with me. I have recently discovered that I have been emotionally out of balance for a large portion of my life. After reading how others felt, it makes sense. I feel better to know it is not uncommon just not well known. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Milja says:

    Hey.
    I don´t know where to start really. I´ve always been fascinated by twins and multiple births. I feel restless, as if I´m always searching for `something.´ I have a history with depression, fascination with death and fear of abandonment. I have trouble eating. Have had many imaginary friends.
    My mother has Ehlers Danlos, which resulted in miscarriages. I had two elder brothers- both lost- but I´ve been wondering if I had a twin too…Somehow, before anyone told me, I knew of my brothers. I miss them, though I never met them.
    I don´t have all the symptoms, but…maybe? Any help or advice?

    • Dear Milja:
      Thanks for reaching out for help. Please read more on my website. You will learn so much from my book. Order it from
      this site. I’ll ship it too you. Continue to search for your twin and the healing will slowly take place. You can always
      e-mail me with your questions.
      Dr. Brent Babcock

  4. sara corley says:

    I came across an article about vanishing twins. One particular one stuck out. It was about a mother who was told she was pregnant with only one child. She then experienced what she believed to be a miscarriage. However, after going to the doctor, she was still pregnant.13 years later her daughter went to the doctor for issues and was told that she had absorbed a twin.
    It stands out because I too went through the same thing. They said the reason for my miscarriage symptoms was due to Factor 5, however, our son, now 10, has always had stomach issues and desperation anxiety. I just wonder.

    • Dear Sara:
      Your experience has happened to so many mothers and children. Have you read my book? I continue to see patients with the same situation.
      Your son and you can heal from the loss of a twin. Hang in there…find a NET doctor to help your son and you come to peace.

  5. Barbara Lee Baker says:

    As long as I can remember, I’ve felt like a twin of me was missing. I almost did a dna test just to see if my parents gave my twin away at birth? It’s been difficult to sort out. I’m the only girl among brothers so I did develop a strong male side to survive, and I longed for a sister. So when this strong urge that I felt, “where’s my twin sister?” came I, I pushed it away.Until, I had breast cancer, and there was such a strong presence of the other around me. I couldn’t push her away. Anyway, I’m realizing I feel guilt for having survived when she didn’t. I miss her. I want her here in my life. My name is Barbara, and it came to me that her’s was Beverly had she survived..

    • Barbara:
      Thanks for your sharing your experiences in life. Beverly will always be a factor in your life. My twin continues to influence my life. It is a
      wild journey. I turn to her for help yet at times I run from her. There is great help for us to be at peace with the death and separation. I use
      Neuro Emotional Technique to make sense of this trauma. See Netmindbody.com Find a doctor and start the healing.

  6. Quinn Miller says:

    I answer positively to all these things. As a young child I had an “invisible friend” His name was Erik and he looked just like me and liked what I liked. I dream about him a lot and as an only child he has always been a comfort to me. I told my friends that I had a twin that didn’t turn into a baby and that I absorbed into my body and he was part of me. At this time I was probably 9 or 10 and I had no idea that was even possible. I didn’t realize that one twin could die and the other survive to be birthed. I’m so glad I’ve finally learned about this

  7. Inge Du Plessis says:

    I am 49 and came across VTS only last week for the first time. I have felt convinced that I have a twin my entire life although I have seen my birth certificate and sadly there was just me. I assumed it was just an only child’s longing. Once I read about it and looked into symptoms, what stood out was that my mother has always said that she had no idea she was pregnant as she has “heavy periods” and when she finally saw a Dr, she was almost 3 months pregnant. Also, after my birth, the Dr showed her the afterbirth to show her a ‘dead’ pale patch, ostensibly to chastise her for not coming in to have the birth induced earlier.
    I am not depressed and generally happy and stable but have always had an unusual fear of abandonment, which I couldn’t understand as my parents were very loving and nurturing.

  8. Jess says:

    I’m 14 my mum found out that she was having twins early on. She had never told me that I had a twin. I knew that I had a twin. I’ve always been obsessed with them i never knew why. I started feeling different when I was around 4. For as long as I can remember I’ve had dreams of me being a twin, so I asked my mum she told me that I had a twin.

  9. Mo says:

    I come from a large family but always felt odd and lonely as if something was missing. As a youngster I liked to read and went to the local library every Saturday- favourite stories were about twins and I thought I was being fanciful when I wished I was a twin. A few years ago I typed something like I should have been a twin into Google and was blown away to find that it’s possible that I was/am. My mum had aunts who were twins, I believe they miss a generation, and when I was born they took me away out of the room. My mum was distressed and caused a fuss till they brought me back to her and said that I’d needed to warm up. It was a private nursing home run by nuns so no way of checking details but my guess is there was something amiss. I have grieved and withdrawn for years after romance breakups and sadly the death of a partner too. It only occurs to me on odd occasions now that I feel something missing but as I’m in my 60s I’d like to move on. How to do this, huh?

  10. Grace says:

    I was never told if I had a twin or not, and I’m scared to ask, but it would explain so much. I’ve been obsessed with having a brother ever since I was small: someone to love more than anyone else in the world. I’ve had recurring dreams about a boy who I think is my brother, and I know when I wake up that I’ll never meet that person on earth. He is basically my soul mate, and if I talk to him or try to imagine him next to me, I feel a deep peace that heals my loneliness.
    I’ve never been good at making friends, I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, death obsession, irrational fear, fear that I’m two seperate people, and an extreme fear of sleeping alone.
    I can’t know for sure if I’m s Womb Twin Survivor, so am I crazy?

  11. Cassandra says:

    Well I can looking because I wanted to know if twin survivors were completely symmetrical. These questions though are quite a bit confusing for me because my twin died when I was still inside the womb.

  12. Matty's Twin says:

    I started telling stories when I was little (2 or 3) about my twin sister Lilly and she had this whole identity and I insisted to my real sister that this girl was also real. I had her as an imaginary friend and would sometimes pretend to be her. When I was five, Lilly told me she was a boy inside. I had never heard of the concept of being transgender and I’m definitely not, but Lilly is still in my head and goes by Matty now. I always asked my mother if I had a twin and she insisted I didn’t, but she got her period when she was pregnant with me so Matty must have died when we were in the womb. Sometimes I meet someone and I think they’d be really good friends with Matty and I tell them they’d like my twin brother. They get surprised saying they didnt know I had a twin but then I have to explain he’s not real. I definitely wasn’t an only child so it couldn’t be because I just wanted a sibling. I made him a Twitter and a Reddit and an email account because I felt like he should have a social media presence too but people tell me that’s weird. I just want him to exist for other people too!

  13. unknown says:

    i feel depressed and i feel not whole like a part of me is missing and i have thought about running away and finding that missing part of me or committing suicide because the depression is so strong i cant bare it i even wrote a suicide note but i have friends who can help but those thoughts keep saying do it.

    • unknown says:

      Please talk to someone about your Suicidal Thoughts. This is very serious you don’t want to do that and if the voices keep telling you that you must have that addressed by someone very soon. Because this may be something other than what you think and you don’t want her to control you. Please please talk to someone about this. My son also suffers from this and it can control you and consume you in the end and it does not go away but he does have help and guidance and how to address this so please please get the help that you need to address the suicidal thought. If you did have a twin I’m sure that they would not want you to do that. I don’t want you to end your life either.

  14. Bill deAquinos’ says:

    I am a survivor. I discovered a few years ago my twin had died in utero. It brought everything together. Why all my chaos, in all that I have done, and why I have had the fight I’ve always fought, is the result of my psyche being formed from a time beyond awareness, from the “observer” of who I truly am, beyond the body. Wordy, I know. There are major implications to what and who we are when we see that personality is formed while still in the womb . What is that “consciousness” that remembers the tragedy? I’m looking, praying, to find others so we can bring language to this experience. No one else is talking about it. Help

  15. Kathryn says:

    Hello, Dr. Babcock. I was searching for things about twins when I found this page. My father’s mother was an identical twin and I have, all of my life, been fascinated by twins. I can relate to pretty much everything on the above list of steps – feeling like I was possibly meant to have a twin. It’s almost like an obsession. What’s interesting is that my 14 year old daughter can also relate to most of it. I have always felt that I was supposed to have a set of twins. That being said, I am very curious about some things.
    1. I am wondering if twins always skip a generation? I have had these feelings and such since I can remember, with the idea of twins always being sort of stuck in my mind. When I was pregnant with my daughter I had what appeared to be a miscarriage during the first trimester. Yet I somehow knew I was still pregnant. My intuition told me it was a miscarriage and when told about it the doctor agreed. My daughter has always wanted a sister just like her and when younger had an imaginary friend she always called her sister. Her “twin”. We both feel like something is missing in our lives.
    2. Can a DNA test really show whether or not you were “created” as a twin or multiple? All of my life I have felt as though there is something our family has kept from talking about – at least to me. Yet, I have this very strong apprehension about asking whether or not I had a twin. I have always felt like I was supposed to have an “older” brother, and I’ve always wanted an older brother. He would have been the older twin, of course.
    3. Are twin/multiple pregnancies really that common? – This is in reference to your comment about one out of every 8 single births beginning as a twin/multiple. That would be a lot of twins. I find it interesting that I seem to have known a lot of twins in my life.
    I haven’t read your book yet, as I’ve only just found out about it, but I certainly will be reading it. I would greatly appreciate any answers you could give me about these things. It would hopefully shed some light on my life as well as my birth which feels like a mystery to me. I am 57 years old and my mother and I have never been close. I always feel at odds with her and around her. I was also never nursed as an infant, while my younger brother was. I have always wondered why. Curiously, I wonder now if you have noticed any patterns there, concerning mothers not wanting to nurse there sole surviving twin when the other does not survive birth? Is there a possible connection? On another note, my daughter and I have been discussing that she was probably a twin. I feel like she not only should know, but that she has a right to know. We have both struggled with depression and anxiety, among other things. I don’t want her to feel her whole life like I have felt my whole life. We are getting better, but there is still something huge missing. Thank you so much for your time and for bringing this subject into the open.

  16. Opal Beisiegel says:

    I was born in 1947. At age 19 doctors discovered I had a second uterus, a second cervix & only one kidney. 11 surgeries followed. Does this condition point to a vanished twin in any way? At very young age I started looking in crowds for my twin, cried for her, 71 yeas old now, feeling still there, have many many symptoms of having had a VT. Would desperately like to know if “birth defects” are just that – father was in New Mexico at end of 1945 where atomic bombs had been exploded in area of Army/Air Base or if the potential VT syndrome could still be a factor even without fathers proxcimity to bomb fallout. Have a brother conceived near Army base with 2 birth defects in his back born May 10, 1946- I was born 13 months after him. LONG QUEST FOR ANSWER. Original medical doctor said my condition pointed to twindom but all other doctors in my life since then avoid question like the plaque……Thank you for allowing space for those of us who wander about this earth confused to comment. Sincerely, Opal

  17. Karen Rodd Rodd Barnes says:

    I always felt alone and not wanted by my mom. Sometimes I thought I was adopted bc she hated me so much. I know I have a twin I can feel it and it’s a brother. And the more I think about it my mom’s angry towards me I believe is bc is lost her son. And she got stuck with me. I don’t what to do. There’s no test to find out for sure. I’m person who likes to keep to herself. I would never intruded anyones conversation .I respects peoples
    space. Please help me Karen

    • Dear Karen:
      I honor your request for help. Please read the information on this site.
      Also reading my book, My Twin Vanished: Did Your’s? will help understand what has
      happened to millions of people such as you. There is help out there for you.
      Sincerely,
      Dr Babcock

  18. Myself says:

    I don’t have any of these ‘traits’, but I’ll still comment though.

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