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Am I a Survivor of a Vanished Twin?

Questions to Discover if You May be a Vanishing twin Survivor

Vanishing Twin is a word that’s been used since 2003 to describe the fetus or embryo that was a twin, triplet or other multiple but died early in the pregnancy, leaving no detectable trace at birth or before. The remaining child born is called a Vanishing Twin survivor. This is also known as the vanishing twin phenomenon. There are millions Vanishing Twin survivors in the world today that share some common characteristics.
See if you feel different from other people. Maybe you have a strange sensation that somehow you don’t really exist, you’re not really here or shouldn’t be here.
Look back to see if you have suffered from depression most of your life, you’ve had long-term problems with food and eating and perhaps you’ve always feared abandonment and rejection. These are common, similar feelings of Vanishing Twin survivors.

Understand that feelings of wanting to commit suicide more than once in your life, afraid of being alone in the dark and feeling paranoid are also common feelings.

Step 4
Identify symptoms such as searching for something all your life but not knowing what it is and feeling intense involvement at the start of a relationship then sabotaging it, whether intentionally or not.

Step 5
Examine whether you’re a female with a strong male side, or a male with a strong female side. Sometimes these are other indicators of being a Vanishing Twin survivor.

Step 6
Acknowledge whether or not you frequently feel unable to cope with life, if you grieve deeply and for a very long time when someone close to you or a beloved pet has died.

Step 7
Realize that if you feel very vulnerable and fragile, you’re easily bored and if you find yourself thinking a lot about death and dying that these are other common symptoms that you may be a Vanishing Twin survivor. Seek help in sorting out your feelings to rule out other more serious problems.

Step 8
Recognize symptoms other Vanishing Twin survivors feel such as feeling as if you’ve been pretending to be someone else, not your authentic self or feeling alone even when with you’re with friends. These are other indicators that perhaps you’re a Vanishing Twin survivor.

21 Responses so far.

  1. Cynthia says:

    Yes. Yes. Yes. And…. yes.

  2. I just ordered your book and I am looking forward to absorbing it. I am nearly 64 and received proof about 30 years ago when I had a dermoid cyst on my left ovalry, and a tooth and were found.. I never felt the need to address this emotionally, probably because I had so many other psychological issues that needed to be addressed first. I have done the hard work on those issues and,recently I have some physical and emotional things going on That tell me that it is time to address the emotional issues associated with Survivorship, part 3.

    • Cynthia:
      Thank-you for reaching out for more helping in the healing process. My book will open more doors and also explain more about
      what you are experiencing. Now is the time to heal in another area of your life. NET is very powerful in this area. See the many
      Facebook pages for survivors such as us. Hang in there…

    • Kristin says:

      Hi Cynthia. I too had a der mood cyst filled with teeth hair and bone fragments on my right ovary. It came back 3 times until they removed my o art all together. Twins run in my family on my mother’s side not even skipping generations . I’m almost 50 and have always felt different or lonely or like something is missing. I also have a third nipple. I suspect I had a twin with feelings but never knew if the der mood is actual proof? I’d love to hear what you know about this.

      • Dear Cynthia:
        The dermoid cyst on your ovary is different proof of you being a twin. Your feelings are real. There are many that have had a cyst
        such as what you had. Just because the cyst is gone doesn’t mean your loneliness and other emotions will improve. Please continue
        to read, journal and get help. My book will help you, too. We are in this together…..

  3. Anonymous says:

    My twin was evil. I remember in the womb the first time I opened my new eyes. I saw her. She looked at me. She instantly hated me and started hitting me. I cried in the womb. I didn’t understand why she hated me. She didn’t want to be a twin. Then…she became silent. I would wait for her to move. Nothing. Then she was gone. Nothing remained of her. When I lost my first child, my mother finally told me that when she gave birth to me, 2 placentas came out.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I never stop feeling lost and abandoned. These feelings never leave me. I often feel hopeless and want to end my life. I always feel like something is missing. And yet I know, if my Twin had lived, life would have been miserable. I know she had to go because of the bad feelings in her heart, yet, it doesn’t stop me from feeling this horrible awful void in my life.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Here I sit all lonely and dark. Hoping to find a loving heart. Helpless in every way, trying to cope with life every day. Trying to find peace of mind, looking for that silver cloud lined. Sucking at this poem at best, never finding true peace and rest. No one can bring her back and….would they?

  6. Anonymous says:

    All hope is lost, all is gone. Truly I new this all along. Still I find no hope to fill, she was evil, I love her still.

  7. Anonymous says:

    My father was a Twin – Both survivors.
    Step 1 – I have always felt that I think differently from others and often wonder if this existence of mine is just a dream. I hear the words echo….I breathe, therefore, I am. If a I am, I exist. Connecting with others is always disappointing. I feel like no one wants to bond, or knows how to bond. I don’t feel like I shouldn’t be here. I’m just not here in the way I should be.
    Step 2 – I think I’ve been depressed from birth on. My mother called me the “New Mexico mouth” because I cried all the time from birth on. My mother rejected me and my father “literally” abandoned me. Mom blamed me for my father leaving because her ego couldn’t let her condemn her prideful self into knowing she was guilty. Guilt belongs on others not her.
    Step 3 – I can’t stand to be in utter dark. I sleep with the tv on and some sort of light as a back up source if the TV goes off. I often wish I would die. When I drink alcohol, I get a little closer to being brave enough to just end it all. What keeps me going and not doing I’m not sure just yet, still analyzing my cowardess.
    Step 4 – I sabotage all my relationships. Believe this or not, in all my pain, anger, cowardess, paranoia, I made a beautiful daughter. When she was born I made a vow she would live the life I always wanted. Her IQ is 140. I did this;. I started teaching her at 6 months the ABC’s. So much detail to go into for that part of my life. She works for Metlife now and she got on the “”””Wall”””!!!!! Even so with all of this, our relationship is in constant jeopardy. She a spoiled pampered girl who doesn’t understand or know the sacrifices I’ve made to make her life better. She’s so normal that now all she sees and that I am not and she doesn’t understand what I did to make her confident. I sacrificed myself in the best way I new how, to use myself as a stepping stool to her ego/confident success. And so, my torment remains. Does anyone understand what I’m saying????
    Step 5 – Sometimes, I think I am a man with my emotions. I feel deeply and have difficulty controlling my emotions, like a female. However, if you cross me, I shock people and scare them…I will deal with you like a man. Things become cut and dry for me and emotion no longer rules once you’ve crossed the line. I’ve run many people away because I side step what they expect of me.
    Step 6 – I’m forever astounded when someone dies. I can cry 40 years later as if it just happened. The pain never leaves me. I hold it close to my heart. I still feel the same way now when I did in 1985. I still think she thought I didn’t love her. I still wish I could tell her how much I miss her. I still wish I could hold her in my arms, look into her eyes and say, I love you Michelle, please don’t leave me! It all still feels the same, nothing ever changes no matter how much time passes.
    Step 7 – Feeling vulnerable and fragile is !st nature to me. Have I ever felt any different? Never! “Hit me with your best shot!” I’m like one of the boxing balls…you know what I mean? Weebles wabble but they don’t fall down. People hit me hard and continuously…..why do I keep standing up even though I know they’re going to hit me again? Punch after punch after punch…..I see them…I see how they feel….yet sometimes I stand up again for the next punch….why do I do this? You know….I could hurt them in a way they would be surprised…I don’t do it most of the time….seems it has to warrant to another degree before I decide to do it. I hold back. I really could hurt . They aren’t as smart as they think. I just can’t in all conscience do what they do to me unless I think the unthinkable might help them. Geez, am i crazy or too smart for this era.? I humbly ask.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Step 8 – I am what I am. To be or not to be. People generally don’t like me. Want to hear the weird part? With all my frailty with all my abnormalities, I like who I am. Weird or not. I am who I am. I don’t hurt anyone, I’m friendly, I ‘m kind. I’m selfish and self centered. But I love. I am unique. If you let me, I will love you for who you are. Just don’t expect me to be normal.

  9. Have extra body parts. Example: extra roots to my teeth. (one molar had 5 roots). I also have an extra artery to my left kidney and both function properly: I have two aortic arteries to my heart and both function properly. The cornea of my left eye is extra thick. My spinal vertebrae are much larger than normal. I have learned about these things over many years and several doctors have found them.

    Could I be the surviving twin in the vanishing twin syndrome????

  10. Barbara says:

    I am 62 years old now.
    I was a twin… early in years the doctor found I had 3 kidneys but one kidney disappeared and the other kidneys fused together ( horseshoe exists). Have a extra shoulder bone and 2 Uterus. The doctor that delivered my baby was surprised….said I could have gotten pregnant again while carrying the first child and still be pregnant with two different children. I have heard a mother who gave birth to her children and had different DNA.
    It was a true story. DSS removed the children until she was able to prove she was the birth mother. I am telling this story because I fear that this is my twins child.

  11. Laura says:

    I fully believe I was a twin. I’ve always felt I’m not really an only child, that there is someone else. I was told the doctor thought they heard 2 heartbeats at first (I believe they did) but said it might just be an echo. (Yeah sure) . Then my mom had bleeding at some point, for which she went to the hospital. I believe that’s when my twin died. I was also born breech, and a small baby. I have deformed knees (only visible on x Ray) and a missing piece of bone at C7 in my spine. That’s usually found in the lumbar spine. I had adhd as a child and I have dyscalculia. I’ve had anxiety since I was 7. Depression since 13. I was a clingy toddler at times and scared to death to sleep in my own room until I was 16. Just everything points to the existence of my twin. I believe my twin was my sister. I can’t remember which condition it was , but I read something I’ve had almost exclusively happens in identical twins. So that would make my twin my sister. I keep feeling like had she survived too, we would look exactly alike , sound exactly alike , and like the same things. I call her Leah, since that was the name my mom had picked for me but got sick of it. I think that was because Leah wasn’t me. Leah was my sister.

    • Laura:
      You are a surviving twin. Leah will always be with you. So sorry for your struggles in life. Hang in there.
      There is help out there for you to become at peace with your lose. Find those who will help you.
      Dr. B

  12. Connie Kaess says:

    I started checking on this online, about a year ago. An ultrasound of my arm revealed I had twice the number of veins as normal. I have a sister 5 years older than me who has hated me since the day I came home. A brother three years older who died at age 8 from pneumonia. He had severe cerebral palsy, but that was from damage done during his birth. I am now recognizing the feelings I have had all my life, like something or someone was missing. I have a hair on my right arm that grows really long, which I read is just a normal follicle DNA irregularity, but I have an awful time cutting it. Believing I may be surviving twin has given me a lot of peace. Also on the right side, my ureter tube is set too high on my bladder, which caused reflux of urine into the right kidney, which stunted it. Twins are very prevalent on my Mom’s side of the family, but most pairs had one die very young or were stillborn. My relationships were full of self-sabotage and found myself marrying and divorcing two alcoholics. I thought I could save them. I feel the masculine side of me and believe my twin was a boy. I don’t know if that’s even possible with separate umbilical cords. I just have been so at peace since I took this consideration to heart.

    • Connie:
      What a wild journey in your life. You can read my ebook which is on Amazon. See my Berlin presentation for more hope and understanding. There are many support groups on Facebook, too.

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